More like White Sux

(I'm going to continue to write about overweight women just so you get the 'plus size match.com' ad every time you visit this blog.)

Just kidding, because I really can't afford to give up my Tuesday night spinning to watch More to Love. And my recent track record for not waking up on time demands I ban myself from Netflix and DVR after 9:30 PM. Plus I remembered writing something about how I wasn't going to watch (as much) tv anymore. whoops.

In my defense, I have been doing an A+ job at running daily...5 days in a row, still going strong. Although it took me 1.5 hours to make myself put on running shorts and another hour to make it out the door, I did it. Yes, I was gone for maybe 30 minutes and yes, I stuffed my ipod and credit card down my shirt to go Target post-run and yes I forgot they were there until 11:30 at night. That's nearly 4 hours of Girl Talk in a sports bra. Also the equivalent of 1 Twins game and 1 episode of FNL and however long it took me to redo my blog.

(ff 1 hr for evacuation drill that had me sitting in a parking lot with 1,000 people over 40 talking about humidity and strange weather patterns of July 2009)

In honor of the Twins big V last night, here's a cute pic of Duensing.

Duensing: "You wanted to see me?" Gardenhire: "Not really. You're starting. That's all."

I always love that one.

I couldn't be happier about the sweep. I love the close games that end with a Twins win, I love moving into 2nd place officially and I hate the Sox. All's well in my world.

Which got me thinking. My life is pretty good these days considering my biggest worry is whether or not I recorded Entourage in HD or reg.

ROUGH LIFE.

Oh, that and being out of gas. I gotta fill the two tone up with the Premium, she's so much higher maintenance than the Cam ever was. and the Maplewood gas stations are t-r-o-u-b-l-e around 4:15 PM on Thursdays. No joke. Shady things happening over here. Makes me happy I live on the other side of the river....I hope that wasn't racist/sexist/age-ist etc. Merely a preference of gas station crowds. But today I forfeited my freedom to choose as the gas light is on and girl has her tongue wagging for some 93 octane.

You're Welcome.

I'd like 10lbs less to love

Did you watch More to Love?

I had no intentions of watching it, but after hearing Sonia's voice go up 2 octaves and start giggling uncontrollably everytime she thought about it, I figured I'd give it a chance in my DVR'ed world as we usually have similar taste in tv shows (i.e. Friday Night Lights, duh)

I called her when I got home to see if it was worth delaying my bedtime an hour and she told me all the good parts (what's your favorite food? Thick and juicy.' and him giving them promise rings, promising to love them for who they are on the inside.)

Which shouldn't surprise me since the show was sponsored by 1 Samuel 16:7 and Proverbs 31.

Just kidding. But thanks Awana.

If you missed it, I'll tell you that all the girls can picture themselves marrying Luke as of the first 15 minutes, few to none of them have been in relationships EVER, and watching in HD is not necessary as all you can think about is how bad Emme, the host looks in high def.

Other highlights...or lowlights...or heavy material:

Melissa- "I have never been on a date, my weight has always been in the way."
Sandy- "I think I intimidate people because they are not used to a plus size girl being confident."
Natalia- "What if I am alone for the rest of my life because I am big."
Kristian- "My last boyfriend dumped me because he was embarrassed that he hadn't been with someone as heavy as me before."
Bonnie- "I am the chubby, fashion-less girl who bakes cookies with her mom."
Lauren- "Guys don't give me attention, they want the gorgeous skinny girls, not the gorgeous chubby girls."

Honestly, I FF'ed through a lot of the show and caught MLB highlights and youtube videos while I 'watched' and overall, allow me to weigh in my opinion as to how it compares with other reality shows.....

Biggest Loser>Millionaire Matchmaker>More to Love>anything else on tv>Dating in the Dark

So it may not be worth planning your Tuesday night around....UNLESS...you are like me and get strangely inspired to workout after watching overweight people confess how unhappy they are or how badly they'd like to drop 50 lbs, etc.

Nothing gets me to Life Time faster than the Biggest Loser. However, I have a feeling More To Love might be a close contender. I'll need another episode to make sure.

Bottom line, it may not be quality tv, but it's a good motivator. So thank you, Fox. I'll never miss a Tuesday workout.

TGTBIO

Everything went my way last night.

I did an extra long run. The Twins won. Which means the White Sox lost. And heck, let's throw in a Detroit loss while were on a roll. 3 games behind has never tasted so sweet. And let's just talk about that Spansome catch our boy Denard had. I did a little replay action on that baby because it was just that good. and let me just say, Wow Wee Mike Cuddyer, nice homer.

After a nearly a full week of being ashamed and embarrassed of the Twins, I can now say I'm once again proud of my boys. The only downer is Sloweyano being out until 2000-never/spring training. I'll miss the kid. Mainly because he was the closest to consistent we had for a starter.

Plus, the Bachelorette is over. TGTBIO. Which I didn't watch. and didn't hear much about. But still, I'm glad it's over. Mainly because it means we are one step closer to ABC realizing they have had 1 success story out of...HOW MANY? I'm fairly sure most of these people are capable of finding love on their own in perhaps a less contrived, non-deadline sort of way.

But what do I know.

It's like 10,000 forks when all I need is Tim Riggins

I've reached a fork in the road as of this weekend. It's a decision that could be potentially life changing. For the worse or the better, TBD.

I have completed season 2 of Friday Night Lights. (Which, if you haven't caught on by now, I've become a HUGE fan of in the past 6 weeks.)

Netflix unfortunately does not offer the Watch Instantly with Season 3 and 4 of my beloved FNL, hence the fork in the road:

Do I torture myself with 1 disc a month of Season 3 and not finish until Christmas?

Or do I officially give up on tv until the good stuff comes back in Septemeber/Octoberish? (minus the Twins and Entourage of course because we both know that cold turkey no tv will only result in Saturday binges of Hannah Montana and late night Golden Girls marathons..both very unhealthy habits. Plus when you say 'I'm not going to watch tv anymore' it excludes all sports, HBO, and anything OnDemand. You didn't know that? Oh well, that's the rules.)

(and just to clarify, when I say Good Stuff I'm really only talking about one show that starts on 9/15 and yes I do have a paper chain countdown in my cubicle for it.)

So anyway. I debated about it for about 2:45 yesterday when I decided to spend half my day on a walk. and yes, I realize that's a long time to think about TV. But let me be honest with you: I was mostly wondering if Principal Taylor will allow Dillon HS to get a jumbotron for the football field and wondering if Lila and Tim Riggins is going to be a lasting relationship.

FNL stuff that I won't know the answers on until Netflix magically awards me with the Watch Instantly Season 3 option because my walk clued me in that I probably should be running as I have a marathon to run in approx. 2 months.

So the decision was made for me based purely on fear and guilt: my FNL time is hereby changing to marathon training time.

Things you can expect from this decision:

• More complaining
• More charlie horses
• Bad tan lines

Oh, to be a tween again..

Let me set this up for you.

It's the summer of 1997.

and I'm way too into Beanie Babies.

(even more embarrassing is that Megan was too and she was almost in junior high)

McDonalds naturally caught on to the beanie craziness and brought us the oh so cute and poorly made teenie beanies.

Megan and I would call around to the Osseo, Champlin, and Maple Grove McDonald's to see what beanie baby they were giving out that week (I believe they switched it every Friday?) and then beg our mom to drive us in the conversion van.

Well fourth grade Christa and beanie baby fans, you'll be happy to know the teenie beanies have returned in honor of the 30th anniversary of the Happy Meal.

And good thing I've moved on to bigger and better things to collect like plain dresses that all look the same from TJ Maxx, light pink/clear nail polish that all look the same to the naked eye (only I choose which one to use based on the different degrees of irredescentness and the likeability of the name), frozen vegetables in the freezer that I will probably never eat, episodes of The Real World Cancun that I'll never watch, and sweaty clothes on the floor of my bedroom.

That's about all I collect these days.

But yes. I'm over the teenie beanies.

But just in case you aren't..I'd thought I'd keep you in the Happy Meal loop.

Other things I got way too into between 1997-2004:
Nsync
The Thoroughbred Series books
Plus One
7th Heaven
Left Behind for Kids books
Airheads, Combos, and Dew from Wally's Market
Tie Dye
Wally Szczerbiak
She's All That
Not showering daily

AHEM. Good Morning.

I spent 40 minutes trying to decide if I liked my blog black or white. So naturally I chose grey.

I guess I forgot to look at it after I changed it because I just caught a glimpse and YES I'm fully aware of the boringness of the color combos and pictures, etc. Maybe someday Steven will come to Minnesota and teach me some computer codes to vamp it up a little.

And when I say teach, I mean do it for me while I watch tv. Just like editing my Survivor video.

So Steven, you're cordially invited to mn.

Bottom line is: blogging is harder than you think.

You want to know what else is harder than you think? Finding fax numbers for pre-employment screening places, finding a convenient gas station in St. Louis Park, and being a Twins fan.

I went to bed after the Twins scored in the top of the 9th..5-3. I woke up to find they lost 6-5. wtf. I will never learn my lesson.

Well time to warm up my voice. Today's the first day of the rest of my life. AND/OR the day I get sick of listening myself talk.

PS, tell me how it's possible that MN couple had over a million people watch their wedding video in a day and they got on Good Morning America the very next morning? Seriously. If that's not enough incentive to walk down the aisle to Chris Brown and pay your cousin to tape it and put it on youtube, then I don't know what is.

Although I prefer the Today Show.

(just in case you are one of the 2 people that DIDN'T watch this on tv/facebook/youtube in the past 24 hours...here you go.)

First Draft Band Names

lol.

Duran Duran Duran
Bon Jovial
Minivan Halen
The Stepping Stones
The Whom
Public Enema
The Murderers
Notorius P.I.G.
Deaf Leopard
Naughty by Nurture
The Pussy Cat Sluts
Reasonable Doubt
Deathhouse

Score! That was amaxing!

My head is spinning with schools that I could have never had a prayer of getting into. So I thought since the printer gets to take a break for unknown reasons, my faxing and printing and w-9 requesting needs a break too.

Things that will not be discussed today:

• yesterday's Twins game
• my 2nd counterfeit race of 2009
• my embarrassingly early bedtime
• Kelsey's role in the Real Roommates of St. Louis Park. (mainly because she's not around enough to be included.)
• how much I detest when people say Score! or Chilaxin.

Things that will be discussed:

• how cool Target Field looks when you exit off of 6th from 394.
• how impressed I was with my race time considering my 'training' has been on halt since..well, 2008ish.
• how I got 8 hours of sleep last night and still managed to squeeze in 1.5 episodes of FNL. Unreal.
• how I worked up the courage to order off the secret menu at Jamba Juice last weekend and forget to tell you.

6th Street Exit=highly recommended. Go ahead and go a little slower and take in the sights of the whatever it's called plaza, the giant Twins sign, and the site of probably 30ish games next year. (because Lord knows most will be cancelled/delayed/miserable due to that fantastic decision to not put a retractable roof on the dang thing). Still looks cool and I'm still looking forward to the day that I have to worry about tan lines at a Twins game.

Torchlight 5k. I listened to GirlTalk and started in the front of the pack. Works like a charm until you hit mile 3 when you realized you haven't gone this fast since the mile run in 6th grade. I think I could have finished a bit stronger, but I came in with a respectable sub 24 finish time which is awesome since my marathon training schedule of late has consisted of lifting my laptop from the couch to my bed every night around 10:30.

Which was 9:30 last night. Also factored in: sleeping in until 6:45 yet still managing to leave by 7:15. I am officially nothing short of AMAZING. (which I just typed as amaxing and kind of like how that looks/sounds).

I psyched myself up from the parking lot into Whole Foods and told myself if the girl at the counter seemed nice, then i would just quietly say 'do you guys make the pink starburst one here?' She looked nice. So I did it. and she said yes. I thought to myself I better get the original instead of the small just in case it's super good. It was very good. Not super. just very. so go with the small. but worth the quiet questioning and worth ordering. Next time: White Gummibear.

and a midair travis barker drum solo for your enjoyment.

High Maintenance Listener Gal

I had to turn off KFAN because there were too many commercials and commercials are on my 'To Don't' list today. and always. This girl waits for nothing. I need to start to podcast instead of listen to live radio if I'm going to be so high maintenance. So I might be a day late and dollar short on my sports news, but at least I will have an extra half hour in my day.

Here's some more To Don'ts for you.

Don't order the Orange Creamsicle Galactyc Float from the Galaxy Drive-In in SLP. It's too messy and the mug was heavy and hard to hold in the backseat of the Lex. I had to use Lindsay's yoga sweat towel to clean up. and I'm a fast drinker so it wasn't worth the $3.45 that Lindsay paid for me to get it.

Don't watch any movie with Lindsey Lohan. Ever. The only tolerable ones are Freaky Friday and Parent Trap but that's only because I like tween moves more than the average adult. Labor Pains went straight to cable but it should have gone straight to..somewhere where no one would ever have to watch it.

Don't go to bed when the Twins are winning by 10 runs.

Don't volunteer for projects to make yourself busier. Being busy is not all it's cracked up to be. It is better to be fake busy than actual busy.

Don't think that setting your alarm clock for 10 minutes earlier will make you actually get up 10 minutes earlier.

Don't assume you are safe to be naked in a hotel room. You are probably being taped and you will probably end up on a French website.

Don't wear Ed Hardy or hang out with people who wear Ed Hardy.

Don't eat candy that's embarrassing to be caught eating.

Don't tell people maybe to something if you really don't want to do it. Because although maybe pretty much always means no, you will still feel guilty when your maybe turns into a no and you will still be resented for giving the answer 'maybe.' It is far better to be resented without the guilt.

Don't bring your phone with you to the gym. It's annoying to be the person next to the person on the phone.

Don't go to a private Christian school unless you want to spend all your money on weddings and student loans.

I regret writing this almost as much as you'll regret reading it.

There's a woman here who sits 15 steps away from me. I walk past her cube to use the secret door to go to the secret bathroom about 5 times a day because I drink a lot of water these days.


I've never talked to her. But she has a 3 foot tall metal plant stand outside of her cube with an elvis clock sitting on top of it. The kind that his bottom half swings back and forth so it looks like his hips are moving. Don't act like you don't know.


So this girl, or grandmother aged woman I should say, deems it necessary to have a constant flow of candy for the easily tempted (me) and refills her plant stand/elvis thing with a nice and fresh assortment every week. (it was a sad week when she was on vacation july 6-10).


Since we've never talked, I always feel weird taking stuff when she's at her desk because I feel like I need to strike up a convo in exchange for the free gift..but frankly, I don't want to. I just want the candy. So I always walk past on my way to the bathroom, check to see if she's there, and eye what I wanna swipe if she's gone. I don't want to draw attention to myself by stopping to dig around or something so it's kind of like that pick up sticks game..what can i take that will be quick and easy and won't disturb any of the other pieces of candy so the man across from her doesn't hear me rustling through her goods.


So today. Coast is clear. I eye one of those long skinny laffy taffys. On my way back, I swiped it up without even having to pause. It was super smooth. I walk back to my desk and try to unwrap it.


Let me just tell you that the next 6 minutes were dedicated to pure frustration trying to eat that dang thing. I had to get out my scissors and clearly was in a frantic struggle, me vs. green apple, when one of the more intimidating people I work with walked in on me. She just kind of stared at me for the longest 6 seconds of my life. I set down my scissors and threw the candy to the corner of my desk behind some 3 ring binders out of instinct. She asked her question. I stuttered out an answer. She gave me a weird look. Walked away.


I'm sticking to my sugarless gum now to get my fix. Mainly because when someone catches you with a long skinny green apple laffy taffy and a pair of scissors..it's kind of embarrassing.

You learn something new every day.

Today I learned that the speed limit is automatically lowered 20 mph if it's raining. Did you know that? Which means you need to leave approx. 20 minutes earlier for every mile you have to go on 394. So, let's do a little math lesson.

55mph on 394. Now down to 35 because it's raining. 5 miles on 394 x 20 minutes more per mile = I should have left at roughly 3:40am. Which also = the approximate time I fell asleep due to Twins induced anxiety.

(I'm not sure how accurate my math is since I spend a lot of time exaggerating, overthinking and complaining these days. Ask anyone who's talked to me for 5 minutes. Call it a mid-summer slump.)

But for real. (cue complaining) It took me almost 3x as long and I have my bladder, lower back pain, and shorter than normal temper to back me up.

All I want to do on a rainy day like today is watch the Lindsay Lohan movie I taped from ABC Family. I wanted to watch it real bad last night, but Lindsay made me watch Dating in the Dark, which for the record, I think is ridiculous, but couldn't stop watching. Which makes me think it would be better suited for the likes of VH1 so I would know ahead of time to avoid it at all costs.

Yes, lay on the couch, finish off Kelsey's box of crackers and watch LiLo in a subpar straight to cable movie. Could you think of any better way to spend a day?

Oh and finally, I'd like to point out that Cuddyer was safe.

Hey Monday, let'd do this.

Well, it looks like all the hours of indoor recess, free choice time, and running home from school to catch the PBS show finally paid off and Tippi Canoe can rest easy...Carmen Sandiego has been found.

Meanwhile, I am bound by contract to stay with T-Mobile for the next 24 months. I feel backed into a corner and have been breathing shallowly for about 4 days now out of commitment induced fear that I haven't experienced since making the decision of which college to go to. I can't stop thinking about how I will never get a new phone, I'll never choose the right plan, and I'll never be able to figure out how to get them to stop billing me as Christal.

If I had one wish it's that Jon Gosselin would stop dating that not very cute girl. Ok, 2 wishes: also, for him to stop wearing Ed Hardy. Do people really like Ed Hardy clothes? I think you'd sooner find me decked out in Carhart or Fox Racing gear than Ed Hardy.

Twinskis lost a heartbreaker in the 12th last night. I gotta say, there are very few things that make my heart race faster than extra innings. Car accidents and John Mayer is all I can think of at the moment. Next time the Twins go into extra innings, I'm waking up Kelsey and demanding she takes all my vitals. Then I'm suiting the MLB for health related issues and taking it easy for a year or 2.

I have health insurance. !!!. Which means now I get to wait a month or 2 to get into the doctor to watch her sign her name for a prescription or 3 and find out how much I weigh in some tricky form of weight measurement. I also will tell her no I do not smoke. No, I'm not pregnant. No. No. No and No. I always feel like they're just waiting for me to go through my teenage rebelious years..newsflash, Janet, I'm 23 and am not a huge risk taker.

So while I wait for that, I'm figuring out how to get dental insurance too so I can wait for 6 months to get in with them. Which leaves me 6 months to freak out about cavities. Which is why I bought 'Enamel Shield' at Target yesterday. Here's to hoping i don't have to get tested for HIV this time.

On that note, maybe it's time I find a new dentist. I'm going to look into going to the one that has a billboard on 94 about how they don't lecture you. 'Gentle Dentistry' or something like that. Supposedly, they just do their job rather than make you feel bad that you inherited your mom's soft enamel and give into acidic drinks every now and then.

I think this little car accident has made me a more responsible adult. Financially, physically, pharmaceutically, insurancely, organizationally. I highly recommend it.

WELL. I have a busy week. Work wise. Social wise. Friday Night Lights wise. Running wise. Trying to get 8 hours of sleep wise. etc. g2g.

A glimpse of my future.

YOU ARE GOING TO WANT TO SEE THESE.

beYAWNsay

I'm so tired. I just yawned for the better part of a 2 hour meeting. Meetings between 12:30 and 3:00 should not be allowed. You know how tired I get after eating a nice big salad.

Ok, and birthday cake.

Point being, some downtime midway through the day would be much appreciated.

Beyonce. I can't imagine myself at that concert tonight. I was a borderline fan of Beyonce up until the moment I heard 'If I was a Boy' at which point I said..no thanks.

I also am holding a grudge because she ripped off my boy Jonny's song and changed ONE word and took the credit.




This is not the first time she has 'STOLEN' a song. Irreplacable, Still in Love (Kissing You), If I were a Boy, Halo, and probz plenty more. B changes a couple lyrics and then takes the writing credz. Not cool.

Apparently there was a company picnic yesterday. and what's his face's band played Van Halen and Bon Jovi and brought a talkbox and everything. and everyone brought their babies. and some undisclosed people 'let their hair down.'

I didn't know about it.

I remember everything got REAL quiet around 3. and I heard people talking about going to Sam's Club a few days ago. But that's about it.

better luck next year??

Jessica Simpson related anxiety

Poor Jess.

Luckily Nick is single again too. and luckily I'd promise to commit to watching Newlyweds 2.0 if they did it. Which let's be honest, would be a great career/financial move for both of them.

In other news Jon Gosselin is not coming out with his own clothing line and may or may not be engaged.

Who cares?

Besides Aiden. Hannah. Leah. Colin. Joel. Alexis. Maddy. and Cara.

I'm more concerned about my student loans getting taken out today. and a questionable meeting that just showed up on my calendar. and my poor posture. and Jessica Simpson related stress. Will she ever make a comeback? Will she ever get super skinny again? Will she text John Mayer back? Will I ever buy her hair extentions, swimsuits, bags, or shoes? (answer: no).

You get the point. Big deal sort of things.

Maybe Jon and 8 + Jess =Yes.

Fill up my (waterbottle)..Mazel Tov.

So I went to my Tuesday night spinning class and lo and behold Toyota (rip, cam) was having some huge event at good old LTF. I didn't think much of it until I got to class only to find Roberto spinning some tunes for us.

Ok, I love Roberto. In an arm's length sort of don't kiss my cheek or give me a full on hug sort of way. He loves himself a good techno remix of Lady Gaga and who can't appreciate that when they feel like they'd rather lick the floor underneath the guy's bike next to you then do another sprint uphill?

Well, I figured Roberto was the main event. Then I figured those free mini backpacks on the handlebars were the main event. Then I thought maybe the free waterbottles with ice cold water that they passed out at 6:30 was the main event. Then I thought the little Clif Shots they passed out at 6:45 was the main event.

MUCH TO MY SHOCK AND DISMAY..

The 'Main Event' of class last night was that it was 2 hours long.

I found this out after hour 1 never seemed to stop.

I'm pretty sure I was hips back, position 3, and/or hovering in my sleep last night and had a nightmare that involved ADD LOAD every 8 counts.

Not to mention almost every song was mixed with MJ. Talk about getting stuck in your head. But if you've never experienced Flo Rida/Jackson 5, Don't Stop Believin/Billie Jean, or that disco stick song with Beat It, then you have not experienced the good life.

badumching.

Also, the teach standing on top of his bike and yelling 'Let your body roooooock!' might have been a highlight. Right behind when he did the Bert dance 'Walk like a Pigeon' across the front of the room. Or took 90 seconds to count from 10 to 1.

But anyway. Here I am. A mini backpack, a Toyota waterbottle, and an entire body's worth of soreness richer.

I'm going to be famous

I will be venturing into the wonderful world of voiceover work as of next week.

(I'm just as surprised as you are.)

But that means I get to spend countless hours alone in a room, just me and a mic.

Sounds like my senior year of college. (Thank you WBCS for preparing me for the 'real world.')

Speaking of Real World, I watched the first episode. Then I taped the second and third episodes but when I went to 'watch' them, I actually ended up cleaning the bathroom, cleaning my room, cleaning, cleaning and cleaning as they played 3 times in a row. I told you I lose interest fast. From what I gather, there was a hook up I would not believe and there was water thrown on a guitar and there was spitting on tacos.

So now that we're both caught up with that..

Did you watch the Legends & Celebrity Softball Game? I have never seen it before..do they always do it? I was pleasantly surprised by the A-list celebs that showed up..you know..the guy from Desperate Housewives, Andy Richter from Conan, Brian Litrell..BIG TIME CELEBS. I'm not sure who I would have preferred to see. Maybe Farrah Fa..Billy Ma..Ed McMa..Michael Jack.. Ok, maybe John Stamos or something?

My man Mauzey broke my heart last night when he didn't advance after that bat-off. I was shocked and appalled Pujols didn't run away with the win, especially having his little boy prep him, rubbing his shoulders, wiping the sweat off his bald head..must be nice. I hope my kids dote on me like that some day when I'm up for some sort of PTA/School Board/Church Ministry position. But anyway, congrats to the Prince of Power. May he reign supreme and bring a sense of pride to the poor souls in Wisconsin.

The only thing cooler than getting your car totaled is when you find yourself crying about it 4 days later when your dad emails you to tell you to pick up a box of cds and spare change waiting in the garage.

I never thought I was attached to that car. But apparently I was. At least 2 crying episodes worth anyway.

SUCH IS LIFE.

Meanwhile I'll be enjoying my muscle relaxers and a 9:00 bedtime as I mourn my loss and embrace the tears.

And as for the Home Run Derby: does anyone stand a chance against Pujols? I say no. But I will still be rooting for Joey Baseball.

THIS IS MY VERY FIRST TIME BLOGGING FROM SLP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope it doesn't become a habit.

But I feel I owe an explanation for breaking my post practically everyday streak.

CAR ACCIDENT.

or wreck if you prefer. or rear ending encounter.

Let me set the scene. 7:35am CST. 394 East. I merged into the right lane so I could get on 94E. Traffic was heavier than normal so we were STOPPED. I decide to take a drink from my 'mini' coffee cup I got from the elderly man who lives in 111 and makes every morning for us in our lobby.

SIP.

LOOK IN REARVIEW MIRROR.

SEE ASTRO VAN COMING AT ME AT 40 MPH. roughly.

Keep in mind I am stopped as are the 28490845 cars in front of me waiting to go through the Lowry tunnel.

cue: IMPACT.

I shut my eyes at the last second because I thought to myself, I'm going to die from a chevy astro van??? How uncool. I do not want to see this.

My life flashed before my eyes. Falling down the basement stairs in the walker. Almost drowning in the hotel pool when I was 4. Falling under the merry go round when I was in kindegarden and having Miss Shank carry me like a baby back to Elm Creek. And of course, the John Mayer concert of February 2007. (but I think about that one everyday so that's nothing new)

As the flashes came so came the splashes. Apparently a huge van hitting you at a medium speed makes your arms go up to instinctively protect your face. EVEN IF YOU'RE HOLDING COFFEE.

My entire car smells like French Vanilla. Not that I have it to smell. Abra Body Shop will be smelling it for the unknown days/weeks/forever to come.

Anyway, to paint you a pic, we'll call my car #1, the 50 year old woman inf ront of me #2, and the NICEST MAN EVER car #3 and finally the d-bag who caused this whole thing: WE'LL JUST KEEP CALLING HIM D-BAG.

D-bag CRASHES into #1 causing the utmost amount of damage, #1 hits #2, and #2 taps #3.

We all pull over to the shoulder and I get out of my car, drenched in coffee. Who knew 8 oz. could cause so much damage on a good hair/outfit day? It was unfortunate.

After a little meeting and greeting and policy # exchanging (oh and plenty of old woman complaining from car #2), we decided we wouldn't call the police since it appeared we could all drive away.

Or so we thought.

#3 leaves. #2 leaves. D-Bag leaves.

Cue Christa leaving. Keep in mind my one option of exiting is Hennepin/Dunwoody otherwise I would have been trapped on 94E until the 35W exit or heaven forbid Hiawatha. So I pull away, press the gas and think 'HMM, seems a little early for an asian teenage boy to be racing his Honda Civic.'

Oh wait, that's me. And it's not a suped up Civic, it's a cranky old Cam. which equals me. Car #1.

There's no longer any shoulder to pull over so sister christers gotta keep truckin. Nope, I didn't let that metal scraping along 394 sound deter me and I barely noticed the 50 yard bubble that seemed to surround my car for the next 2 miles since no one wanted to drive near me. (that's a lie, I noticed and panicked.)

After many tears and charlie horse style promises to God, I found Parade Stadium parking lot right by the Walker Art Center and cried my eyes out for the next 10 minutes.

Then I realized I should probably check out what that noise was. Oh, no big deal, just my entire muffler/tail pipe hanging on for dear life.

So one phone call to dad and one to work set me up for an entire day of talking to insurance claims people from 4 companies, adjusters from 2 companies, auto body repair shop girls, tow truck place, doctors office, yaddayaddayadda...needless to say I will not be answering my phone for the next...forever.

OH and I will also not be looking to the left with any sudden movements or drinking from uncovered coffee cups in moving vehicles.

The good news is: it inspired me to renew my health insurance and made me a cynical old woman with neck problems. and I got a day off of work.

The end.

Today at 12:34 and 56 seconds, it will be 12:34:56 on 7/8/09

I was just casted for a new show called the Real Roommates of St. Louis Park. I guess I was casted as the girl who stays home all the time watching netflix and or getting lost on the trails. I'm hoping my navigation and social skills both don't scare away the loyal bravo viewer. I know they're used to a little more drama than I seem to provide, but come on, who wouldn't want to watch me do a fake turn around on a trail and pretend to stretch so the bikers don't know I'm lost? That's interesting stuff. And don't even get me started about sprinting through the life time fitness parking lot to get a bike in time for 6:00 spinning. I speed throught he Express check-in and yesterday I didn't even say thank you when they gave me my card back. I know, I'm such a brat these days. A perfect 'love to hate' character. Just call me TAMRA.

So anyway. watch for that.

Meanwhile, I discovered that I've developed a tolerance and dare I go as far as LIKING to ranch dressing. Which scares me because I once knew a girl who blamed a 20 lb. weight gain solely on ranch dressing. So, fear not, I will have it in moderation. The same moderation I use when watching Friday Night Lights. Which = as much as I want.

Also, that 35 year old man who looks like the black friend in High School Musical 1,2 and 3 who lives in my apartment building? Yeah, we've been seeing each other. Just thought you should know.

And by seeing each other I mean awkwardly all over the place and it usually starts with him smiling and ends with me giving him a weird look back and being embarrassed that he caught me ______. (INSERT: tanning with my laptop on the deck, forgetting to put my car in park, talking obnoxiously loud about blisters and charlie horses, spilling coffee down my skirt, blasting Big Willie Style and knowing all the words to Welcome to Miami, not being able to get my key out of the front door and dropping my groceries mid-key-struggle, and doing static lunges in the weight room with 5 lb weights while watching HGTV.)

So yes. It's getting serious. and by serious I mean I now recognize his car and duck or walk faster if I spot it.

But he should be embarrassed too because 9 times out of 10 he is wearing a track suit of some sort. Which makes me immediately imagine him starting to sing "The boys are back" and start jumping on the hoods of cars with Zac Efron.

IF ONLY.

Excuse me.

Is it sacreligious to talk about something other than Mike Jack during his funeral?

Since I'm not watching, I think it's ok. I just might be the ONLY one not watching. I don't care what Mike says, I do think I'm alone on this one.

I was a VERY happy girl this morning when I woke up to find that Deterribleroit lost. Which puts the Twins 1.5 games behind. Heading into facing the Yanks and the Sox, I may be holding my breath for the next 6 days. and my happiness or lack there of may be based solely on the W/L factor in the said games.

That being said. I am not looking forward to the fact that All Star break is pretty much here. Mainly because what will I stress about if the Twins aren't playing? I'll probably get a lot more Friday Night Lights in, that's for sure. Which is a definite positive. But what I'm worried about is this: what excuse will I use now that I can't say "It's still early."

I, along with everyone else, said "It's still early" from April through..well..now. I used it the same way everyone blamed the economy and housing crisis and el nino and yaddayaddayadda for EVERYTHING. It doesn't make sense but people love and need excuses.

Kind of like when I'm running late (which is somewhere between often and always) I think of about 6 solid excuses as I rush in.

Which always ends with me telling the truth because turns out I'm worse at lying than coming up with things to blog about.

Pretty bad.

(Just overheard: Jesus Frickin Louise, what's a guy gotta do to get some frickin wifi?)

You are not alone

HAPPY MICHAEL JACKSON FUNERAL DAY!!!!!!

I texted Kelsey in a panic on the way to work this morning begging her to tape it for me. Afterwards, I realized I probably won't watch it because for some reason in my head I imagined Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder, and Lord willing, John Mayer and Bon Jovi, doing covers of MJ songs and everyone linking arms to that Free Willy song and then dancing, shouting, and shaking their bodies to the ground and, duh, moonwalking in unison. So basically the best concert ever only live on tv and in the middle of the day covered by every tv station in the world. Then I realized I might be dreaming too big for what this will look like and I'll probably be disappointed.

So basically I'm telling you that I probably won't watch it. I have more important things to do like laundry and spinning and finishing Season 1 of Friday Night Lights. But knowing it's still an option makes me content.

I would compare sitting here at work knowing that half the world will be watching this on tv in a couple hours to being at home on a weekend during freshmen year of college. You know you're not REALLY missing out on anything that great, every weekend was virtually a replica of every other one. But the small chance that you might miss something is enough to make you sit and sulk. Call it a bandwagon. Or a grass is always greener sort of thing.

Let's be honest. The attitude police should have pulled me over about 2 hours ago. Because it's Bad, it's Bad - Come on(Bad Bad - Really, Really Bad)....Ok maybe more like 4 months ago. But who's counting.

Ok, back to Michael. I was just thinking about all the celebs that'll be there. If I somehow got lucky like Eric and Kelly and won tickets, I'd be WAY more pumped about the alive celebs than the dead one. (RIP) Don't get me wrong, I love Off The Wall and nothing puts a smile on my face like The Jackson 5 synchro dance moves, but I think Sonia was right when she pointed out that we are just a hair too young to truly be upset over Michael Jackson dying. We missed that wagon. Had I been born in 1976, I'm sure I would have taken the day off work today to mourn. But I'm saving that day for Justin Timberlake's funeral. Now THAT will be a big deal in my world.

I heard this memorial service is costing the state of California something around 2.8 million dollars.........which will be paid by tax payers. HMMM. That's weird. I don't really know what to say about it. But I think California is 500 some million dollars in debt already so I guess what's another couple so that people can properly bid adieu to the Man in the Mirror.

Although I'm not passionate about the life and/or death of MJ, I think I should pay homage to him by going to the Shout House this week. You KNOW it's going to be a giant Michael Jackson tribute. You know it. How could they not? I just wish they knew PYT.

On that note, ever wonder what MJ would have looked like had he aged...normally? You are not alone.

Paging Dr. Dotto

I have a confession to make.

All I ate between 11:00am Saturday and 4:00pm Sunday was cheese dip.

How embarrassing is that? Ok, I guess that's a lie because I had a couple handfuls of chex mix on the boat and I swallowed at least 6 pieces of gum. But otherwise: just cheese dip.

I need an intervention from Dr. Jen.

On the upside, I am going to spinning for the first time in 3 weeks tonight. and I couldn't be happier or more scared. Spinning and running are both things that if you do it consistently, it's no big deal. The routine aspect makes you not even second guess whether or not to go, you just do it. Once you allow yourself to miss 1 class, 2 workouts, or heaven forbid 3 weeks...good luck. You are ready to get your butt kicked.

The same thing happened for me with the majority of my classes senior year of college. and freshmen through junior year. of high school and college.

So moral of the story is, just go. So I am. and I'm looking forward to some butt kicking tonight, cheesedip style. Oh and circling the LTF lot about 37 times before I get a parking spot.

Joo-Lie.

I am 100% sure there is nothing, absolutely nothing, worse than going back to work after a long holiday weekend.

NOTHING.

All I can think about is how much I'd like to run through New Brighton to the Long Lake Beach like the good ol' days when I worked for like 3 hours a day and devoted the other 21 hours to having as much fun as possible. Also known as the summer of 2007.

But fast forward to me sitting at a desk, eating questionably 'fresh' fruit and counting down the minutes I have to read Twins blogs before I go to a meeting about automated candidate correspondances.

Hmm, I take that back. Rather than be such a downer, let me just tell you I had a great time in Neenah, WI. It really is a gem of a town and Lake Winnebago is close to perfection if you're looking for a place to watch fireworks for the 4th. Not to mention the hospitality that is Chas and Annie..they really know how to treat a girl. I ate the biggest and best breakfast I've had in ages and Sonia treated me to cheese dip at the Boat Yard and naturally, a stop at the St. James and PCP. It was Independence Day at her finest. Mainly because the 4th is usually slightly a letdown. As is New Year's Eve, Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc. etc. When it comes down to it I really only appreciate Memorial Day and Labor Day for what they are: a Monday off of work.

After getting slightly lost somewhere near Hancock, WI, I spent the better part of Friday night on my laptop in Sonia's bedroom yelling at the Twins. Hard to do when you cannot actually see the game, but yes, it can be done and yes, I'm still disappointed about the outcome of the 16 inning game. But 2 out of 3 ain't bad, boys. And who is SO excited for Joey Baseball to play int he all star game? As if there was any question about him playing. I am not a huge fan of the all star break, but I am a fan of the Home Run Derby, Slowey getting better, and Mr. Mauer proving he's simply the best.

Which leads me to an open invite to Twins games Tuesday through Sunday. I'm available. Ready. and Willing.

Thank you.

MY DUMPLINGS!!!

sisters,
can we relate to this?

maybe i need candy

All I want to do right now is to go running in uptown and come home to a long night of FNL. Maybe some of that popcorn stuff Kelsey makes. and maybe a clean room. and maybe some sort of instant time machine that would allow me skip tomorrow morning from when i wake up to dinnerish time but then make the weekend last like..forever.

THAT'S IT.

Someone text me at 4:00pm cst. i'm putting my head down.

+/- .500

The Twins are one game over .500.

So am I in waking up on time this week.

Whatever, I just need a decent bullpen. or alarm clock. or consistent bedtime.

I just sold the rights to my Netflix account info. to my roommate Kelsey so she can watch Weeds and Friday Night Lights in exchange for pineapple and Luna bars. Good deal. David Kahn should take some tips from me.

Dear Kels, for the small small price of making Dave bring me flowers, I'll throw in the option of using my HDMI cord.

Tomorrow about 97% of the people around me will be on vacation. I, however, will be here. as usual. Same as Good Friday. Same as the Friday before Memorial Day. Same as every Friday. Except it's Thursday.

Just overheard: Girl talking real loud and being real annoying: I'm kind of a mutt. A little German, a little Scandanavien, a little French...

Guy across from me under his breath: someone's been gettin around.

Not that funny. but kind of. if only you knew these people.

Here's something crazy. I've tried to stay away from celeb gossip (aside from j+k=h8, but they're hardly 'celebs') for a long time now. Mainly because I lost interest in the Jonas Brothers, got sick of Lindsay Lohan and her girlfriend breaking up, and couldn't stand to read anymore about Twilight. I stopped checking Perez consistently at some point in late 2008, and haven't watched E! News in at least 5 months.

WHO'S PROUD OF ME?

I also went on a magazine hiatus until our little Chicago trip which I estimate made me save at least $30 over the past 6 months. I thank the bad economy and student loans kicking in as my inspiration for kicking this bad habit.

So anyway, I'm a bit behind on the Hollywood happenings these days minus the major crap about dying and stuff. Luckily I had 1.5 hours to catch up on the last 3-4 months of celebrity gossip at the salon last night. And let me tell you what I learned.

1. 46% of people think Taylor Swift is hotter when she has a boyfriend. (huh?)

2. Heidi Klum is pregnant again?! with a girl.

3. Fashion tip: petite girls should wear mini dresses,. curvy girls should wear maxi dresses. (Sonia, I'm not sure what this means for you.)

4. TLC made Jon give Kate flowers on their anniversay. Even paid for them.

5. You should tuck the ends of your hair into your shirt or in a hat when you're in the sun. (seriously?)

6. Robert Pattinson is the new Johnny Depp.

7. Bradley Cooper is the new Vince Vaughn (really?) and is supposedly still into J. Aniston who is supposedly so over J. May who is supposedly very happy being single.

8. After reading the 100 greatest tv episodes of all time in TV Guide, I was shocked that the Full House when Jesse gave Michelle the pink bunny and Michelle gave u.j. her pig did not make the cut.

9. Also, the Johnny Dakota episode of SBTB with the special P.A. at the end about 'no hope with dope' at the end. NOT ON THE LIST. My question is...who do these people think they are and what do they know about good tv anyway?

10. You should be happy when a man calls you between noon and 5pm. I don't remember why but I do know that my dad is the only one who ever calls me in that time frame. So thanks Dad!

TWINS TIME. Business man specials make my days oh so much better.