Shut up, Simon

I've had a really demanding schedule of tv watching lately. You probably haven't. So I've decided to blog about my tv watching so you can keep up to date and I can have 'someone' to talk to about Idol.

Girls: They all kind of sucked. If you dvr'ed it, don't bother watching. I only like Didi and Katie and only a little bit.

Boys..............

Todrick. 100 million percent agree with Simon, vergent on stupid. I like Todrick, but I don't trust a man with light eyes. Or with the name "Todrick."

David Archuleta 2.0. Eh. Unimpressed. He looks like a future member of the church worship team. and He made me miss David Archuleta.

Can anyone tell me what "Juking" is?

Jermaine. Oops, I was googling baby blankets and talking on the phone so I missed him.

Turban. He may get the tween girl votes, but any one who's gone through puberty knows he doesn't stand a chance at being here another week. It's too late to apologize, oh yeah. oh yeah. oh yeah. (could I get one more oh yeah out of turban? probably not)

Mexican Jose. Hmm. I liked him more than I would have thought. I have nothing negative to say...which feels weird.

Tyler Grady. I felt like I was watching really good Rock Band graphics. and was still not impressed. I think Tyler Grady would be great if Hairball ever decides to go more 70's.

Lee Dee. My first thought when Seacrest announced "Chasing Cars" was baaad choice. Ballads=bad news for night #1. However, I was pleasently surprised with his rendition. He made Snow Patrol manly which I never thought was possible.

Trendy Asian. I like him because he's trendy and Asian but I didn't want God to bless the Child...unless it's mine. I would vote for him just for an extra blessing on my son. (is that selfish?)

Big Mike. Never has a man made a guitar look so small. Which brings me to why did he have a guitar? He didn't play it. He tapped on it. and strummed it less than 5 times. Rewatch it and tell me I'm wrong. (You won't. You will tell me I'm right.) Anyway, it's a shame I really like this song and he made me like it oh so much less. I am crossing my fingers Andrew Garcia does a Maroon 5 song in the near future so it can erase my bad memories of this.

On a commercial sidenote, I just got nautious thinking about Culver's Butter Burgers.

Alex Lambert. woof. The only man that can pull off that look is(was) Mark Paul Gosselaar circa Malibu Sands/The Attic episodes of Saved by the Bell. I thought he was horrible and I've been asking for the past 3 weeks how he even made it to Hollywood. I was much more focused on my graham crackers and cream cheese frosting than on paying any attention to this kid.

Casey James. First let me make reference to the fact that we have the same haircut. I seriously wake up looking like Casey James every morning...Does this mean Kara likes me? and Bucky Covington? Hmm. Well, in other news, he has a nice name (just saying). And although I hate this song, he reminds me slightly of Tim Riggins from FNL and has a nice voice so he's ok in my book.

Andrew Garcia. Also known as the one I waited 2 hours to see. I have to say I was expecting more, however, I also have to say he is still my fave. The song just sucks. as do Fall Out Boy. As does Panic! at the Disco. As does any band that sounds like one of the two.

So after my top 12 review, I predict Andrew Garcia, Casey James, Mexican Jose, Big Mike, Lee Dee, and Jermaine.

Tell me I'm right, Simon!

Happy Thursday

and while I'm at it, happy belated Super Bowl and happy early V-day.

I've been doing the best I can to eat foods from all food groups these days. This mainly means I buy a lot of V8 juice and make myself add chicken to everything plus the morning chug of chocolate milk. That covers most of the areas I've historically been depriving my bod of.

Today however it's 12:39pm and I am currently sustaining my body on yogurt based foods alone. I hit my DRV for calcium and fruit by probably 9am today. Something to be proud of.

On to more important things in my life like Idol. I have never been so happy than to see my girl Ellen during Hollywood week. Even though she was wearing a button up jean shirt. My favorites thus far are clearly Andrew Garcia who's parents were in a gang. He sang Maroon 5 Sunday morning in auditions and then a little Paula Abdul the other night which had me sold. I also thought I was a big fan of Todrick but I think I might have got him confused with Jermaine from IL. My guess is I'm the only one who pays attention enough to remember every song and every name and every audition city so...I'm just going to stop.

With the exception of I hate Mary.

Ok, I'm glad I could get that in.

I'm not going to write about Biggest Loser except that I think Allison Sweeney's "stylist" needs to be fired asap. and also, how come there are no likeable people this season? If I HAD to pick, I would pick the yellow team but only because they are from Minnesota and the dad has a Jesus tat. Otherwise everyone is tied for below the yellow line for me as far as likeability.

Excuses Excuses

I have had ZERO time to blog. SRSLY.

Mainly because Ellen keeps me so busy. The girl is errrrverywhere.

But really. By the time I get home from work, I only have about a 2-3 hour window of time that I have to do a lot of things. If I'm lucky 1 hour gets me to the gym. Which leaves me 1 hour to watch Ellen and 1 hour to watch Justin Bieber YouTube vids. I barely have time to eat a well balanced meal much less blog!

Tonight, I cut my Bieber time short and also sacrificed my gym time to the washer/dryer which meant I got to listen to my iTunes playlist called "I hate hanging up my clothes." So tonight was definitely an off night. Don't get used to it.

You should also know that I've cooled my creamsicle kick down to two a day. It's a problem, but I'm not willing to address it quite yet because they are just too dang good.

I also came closer today to peeing my pants in my car than ever before. Lori and Julia broke the news to me that Jessica Simpson and Taylor Kirtsch are an item. I didn't know if I should be happy or sad which naturally results in me almost peeing my pants. Luckily I was minutes from home and was able to scale the steps faster than I have in months. I just don't know what to think about those two together. I like Jessica, but I JUST LOVE TIM RIGGINS. Love him. And if anyone knows when and how I can watch Friday Night Lights Season 4, TELL ME NOOOOW.

In closing, there is no such thing as cute boy clothes, cute boy names, and cute boy anythings. I'm at my whit's end with Thank Heaven For Little Boys and Mommy's Lil AllStar. I will probably regret saying this in a couple months, but I'm trusting the Lord will provide gift receipts. God is faithful. And as long as I'm being honest, I'm also not into Classic Pooh or polka dots.

(hot) flash dance

Nothing is more uncomfortable than listening to Oprah and Rosie talk about menopause.

Except for my trip to the gym yesterday.

I was walking on the tread, minding my biz and reading The Blind Side, when something caught my eye. I have a tendency to keep an eye on the weight machine area while I do cardio for a few different reasons...

A. To learn how to use the machines I don't know how to do without having to actually ask someone

B. To see the sweaty people who touch the machines before me so I am motivated to remember to clean before and after

C. To see the Super Nast people who use the machines before me so I can avoid them altogether

So I glance up to look at this arm/chest thing I like to do and saw a middle aged man, black, bald (but with a tiny patch of hair above his ear with a 6 in long braid), muscle tank, giant biceps, and roughly 5 foot 2.

He did a set. Stood up. and started dancing.

But not like just nodding his head and step together step sort of dancing. Full out grinding sort of dancing with closed eyes, snapping fingers, and fancy footwork.

Maybe 3 minutes straight of this and then did another set and then back to dancing. By the third time, he was getting a lot of stares and a lot of laughs so he must have decided to up his game because he started to pop and lock it.

Let's keep in mind this was 12:30pm on a Sunday.

So weird. so maybe Rosie talking menopause isn't so bad.

dinkdinkdink...is anyone still out there?

It's me. I'm back with time on my hands and things to talk about but no one sitting here to listen to me. So here I am.

I've had fanmail and comments and facebook messages up the wazoo begging and pleading for me to come back. So now that I find myself sitting in bed by 8pm with my laptop every night (I just leave it on long enough to warm up my bed), I figured I would grace you (molly) with my presence again.

Let me review what's happened since we last spoke.

I finished regular season fantasy football in first place and lost a heartbreaking loss in playoff game #1. And so ends my inaugral fantasy season. I was so depressed with my football loss that I gave up on my fantasy basketball team in week 1. Fantasy is just not my strong suit.

I turned 23.5. No one said anything or bought me anything. Probably because they didn't get a blog reminder.

I slept through December 2009, but from what I can tell, didn't miss much.

I got ripped off at Jiffy Lube twice.

I fell in love with taping Ellen. EVERY.DAY.

I found out NBC is tentatively showing Friday Night Lights season 4 this spring/summer. I may die having to wait a week between episodes. I need more Riggins in my life.

And today marks the 23rd day of January and I am $3.59 shy of reaching my deductible for the year. I frickin rule. Unless it counts towards 2009 in which case expect me to reach my deductible by February 23. Or sooner. Because I'm just that cool.

Judging by the traffic this has continued to receive in my nearly 4 months of absence, I really feel the need to delete the vikings song I posted in august. It concerns me people in japan are reading this. no offense, konichiwa's.