She's (not) country

So this is a big deal at the moment..apparently.

If someone were to describe me, I think it would be the perfect and exact opposite of everything in this song. And redneck woman. and any other song about girls being country.

Which brought me to the conclusion that I am as un-country as it gets.

Minus liking classic Bon Jovi and the one Harley shirt I wear too much. But that's way more rock n roll than country..right? I hope so. Until I start wearing Nascar perfume, which for the record comes in burning rubber and motor oil scents, wearing my hair in a gelled crunchy curl, and having a frayed jean skirt with cowboy boots as my go-to, going out outfit...I think I'm safe.

This is funny because not even one week ago, I can quote myself as saying to Sonj, "I think you and I have a little bit of hick in us."

So now that I think about it, maybe when I said hick, I meant trashy. Although some of you think the terms are interchangable..not so. Hick is the appropriate amount of country with just enough trashy. You can be trashy without being hick but you cannot be hick without being trashy. I'm sorry, that's just how it is. Someone who likes monster ballads of the 80's and is ok with love handles hanging out of their pants is just trashy. Someone who has a Calvin peeing on _____ decal, tattoo, or tire things and wears their brew crew jersey unbuttoned without a shirt = hick.

Not that I'm that trashy. But I might have a little hint in me which I blame 70% on growing up outside the 694/494 loop, 12% on Osseo Senior High, 8% on shopping at Unique Thrift Store more than the mall, and the rest on my first trip to the Otter when I sang Redneck Woman. Which equals only a hint of trash. And it's more mockery than actual trash.

Yet still very mathematical.

So although I ultimately would consider myself German, I like to think of myself as perfect (it's a youngest child German thing), but in actuality I'm just a shorter, trashier Heidi Klum. But not at all country.

**Which reminds me to remind you that Project Runway starts on Lifetime in August. Plan ahead and show your face at the 407.