TWO -BILLZ

Welcome to 200. (That's NUMBER 200. Not 200 lbs....yet.)

To celebrate this monumental blog I bought a box of mini soft pretzels and ate almost all of them simoultaneously watching The Bachelor finale.

I'm not sure which was the bigger mistake...but whatever the case, I wound up with a bad stomachache. I am couch-ridden for at least another hour to digest these SoftStix and Jake picking Vienna. and yes, I hear my phone ringing in the other room but I can't get up. Sorry if it's you. If Kelsey was here I would request a catheder. Or an epidural. I don't know how that would help me but it seems like it's worth a shot.

Anyway, Jake had to pick between the kind of gir that drives me nuts (Tenley) and the kind of girl that's ugly and drives me nuts (Vienna). I didn't care. But I watched anyway. and in my defense I missed half of it. I think Tenley reminds me of a little mouse that would help me clean and sew clothes and open my bllinds for me to bring in the St. "Lucia's" (Park) sunlight. Meanwhile Vienna reminds me of Hilary Duff's ugly sister Haylie + Ashley Tisdale + a girl I used to work at Hop's with who's bleached hair and brown eyes made me go home and deep condition my hair and pray it never looked as fake and nast as hers.

Was that a run on sentence?

Moving on, who's even remotely surprised about the Dancing with the Stars lineup? The least they could have done was let Maddy Gosslin do it because you KNOW she's crossing her arms and stomping a foot knowing her mom will be soaking up her attention. I guess I'm a TINY bit surprised by Erin Andrews only because I thought she was better than that. "That" being DWTS. Who am I to judge though..I've never seen the show. (surprisingly!) I'll te you who would get me to watch though: TIM RIGGINS.

Which brings me to Friday Night Lights coming back to NBC on April 30. Have I stopped thinking about it since I've found out? No. Will I stop thinking about it between now and April 30? Probably not.