Lady luck is not on my side today.

Wait, that's putting it too lightly.  Let me rephrase that.

NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT FOR ME TODAY.

I woke up and had no Fresca to take to work.  That should have been a sign of the doom's day I had ahead of me.

I drove to work in the pitch black, icy roads, 12 degrees.  Yuck.

Meetings and emails and blahblahblah.

I go to lunch to spend my Groupon at Nordstrom Rack and spent 45 minutes searching and searching and seeeeearching for SOMETHING to spend my already spent money on.  Nothing.  Ain't that how it goes.  I was tempted to buy black workout pants until I remembered folding 9 pair last night and promising to refrain from buying anymore...well...ever.

I grab some lunch and head out to the ramp.  Pull out to a TWO lane road that leads me out of the MOA parking ramp and the girl driving directly next to me thinks it's a one way road.  I was nearly sideswiped and luckily my foot reacts quicker than my hand and I was able to brake to avoid the erratic driving.

So there I sit, waiting for my green arrow to take a left hand turn and I do a double take only to see a car with 2 very confused middle aged women making hand signals next to me....oh, did I mention they were going the wrong way?  Somehow they ended up on the left side of the road and were hand signaling me asking me to wait so they can take a right turn in front of me.  That probably makes no sense without a visual aid, but I can tell you it is idiotic and illegal based on the fact that that's how I failed driver's test #1 in 2002.  It's an automatic fail in fact.

I gave them a nasty look, but let them go.  I took my left turn and a van going a mere 20 mph decided to cross ALL FOUR LANES and nearly run me off the road again.  Awesome.  This time my hand and my foot were in sync and I was able to give him a piece of my mind (via horn) while saving my own life with a swerve and a brake.  Then I pulled into the lane next to him and we got to sit at the world's longest red light staring each other down.

You'd think that'd be the end of it right?

Wrong, people. Wrong.  I hit a icy patch in the parking ramp at work and slowly slid into a cement wall.

Then I preceded to be late for a meeting.  Missed my reservation in the 'mother's lounge'  (which is a bigger deal than you'd think).  Ate my now cold lunch at 2:00pm while I sat on the phone with an IT guy for the next 2.5 hours.  Left extra late.  Hit horrible traffic.  Took a new way home as to avoid horrible traffic...which left me in even worse traffic. Hour+ late to pick up Lucas who decided to scream the whole way home as we hit every red light.

Here's where I remind you again that I missed my afternoon sesh in the mother's lounge.  I feel the need to emphasize that this is MUCH bigger deal than you think.

I guess Lucas decided that my most stressful day ever + Derek having to work extra late would be a prime opportunity to be extra needy.  He's lucky he's cute.

I just ended my day with cleaning up runny, yellow poop because taking off the dipe is clearly baby code for "push out as much poop as possible while mom's not looking."  I tried to calm Lucas down to go to sleep by singing only to have him laugh and put his hand over my mouth. Cute kid, huh?  Way to kick me when I'm down, sweetheart!

So in the light of the season to be thankful....I will tell you this.  I am thankful for Ada and Brendon on Biggest Loser being the small glimmer of hope in my day.  I am thankful for the $3.98/24 pack coup for Fresca I just found that I will be redeeming tomorrow.  Finally, I am thankful for only one more work day and looking forward to 4 days straight of staying in the MG vicinity.  More specifically, my couch.

Tonight I watched an 11 year old girl beat up on 7 boys in a game of basketball.  Gotta love LTF and gotta love the 'girls are taller than the boys' phase of life.  The boys were pretty scared to guard her...probably because they could see her sports bra.  But they sure as heck listened to her when she clapped her hands three times so they'd pass to her for the easy lay-up.

As I was speedwalking at an incline reading Parents magazine on how to make your baby brilliant, I realized how out of touch I am with all things....well....non-baby.  I also realized my ipod hasn't been updated since 2008 because once I snapped out of parenting mode and watching the prepubescents shoot hoops, I picked up my own game....to a 6.5 on the t-mill to be exact.  All was good until I realized I was running to 'Party like a rock...party like a rockstar.'  Circa.......2007? 2008 perhaps? Gosh, I'm so 2000 and late!

(is it cool to say that anymore?)

I also had some major lol moments watching the Duggers tonight.  First, their swimming suits.  Second, the pop-up fact that if every one of Anna and Josh's siblings had 19 children, baby Mackynzie would have 475 cousins. (who's job is it to come up with thsoe facts and HOW can I get that job?)  Third, everything else.

Oh and finally, I am overjoyed and peeing my pants excited about the new GrandDugger.

I guess being 'in touch' with the Duggers makes me even more out of touch with the real world.  Before you know it, I'll be making Lucas play a miniature fiddle and practice his italics handwriting by writing Bible verses.

I had every intention of cleaning tonight. Putting away laundry.  Scrubbing the tub. Maybe some rearranging. But once I put Lucas to bed, I was cleaning up some papers and before I knew it, I had done nearly 4 months of baby calendar stickers....does that make me a good mom or a bad mom?  Or maybe just a distracted cleaner.  First smile, first LOL, first rollover....I had to guess on when things actually happened, but hopefully no one checks Lucas' calendar  of "Firsts.." for accuracy.

Now I'm watching Survivor (with a big basket of unfolded, clean laundry next to me....it haunts me in my dreams) and I think Naonka may just have to be the most annoying contestant of all time.  She's a nutcase.  She's Omarosa with a chip on her shoulder times 10.  So hard to watch.  I knew I should have watched Real Housewives of Beverly Hills......when will I ever learn that Bravo beats ALL. (except the Style network when they have a Jerseylicious marathon).

I also want you all (all 3 of you) to know that I am officially a mom.  Not because I have a kid (although I guess that's what got me here), but because I watch the 5:00, 6:00, AND 10:00 news, I speed walk on a treadmill, to "run errands" I wear a nice top I wore to work +jeans+ running shoes (I have always thought that was such a mom look), and I spend the last hour of every day washing bottles.  I get Build a Bear coupons in my email and I like "The Middle" on ABC.  I go to bed earlier on Fridays and Saturdays than any other night and I spend my "me time" looking at mom blogs, organizing baby clothes, and yawning.

And I fill out baby calendars.

One of my biggest, greatest dreams of "having my own place" was a clean, organized refrigerator.  Similar to what you'd see when Luda or someone opens their home up to MTV for cribs (circa 1999?) and flashes a perfectly organized, well stocked fridge complete with 30 bottles of water lined up just so.

Well my fridge growing up was just the opposite.  It was full of 11 kinds of salad dressings, ketchup, mustard, barbecue sauces...you know, stuff I hate.  (This is where I tell you that I didn't try salad dressing until I was 22 years old (it was ceasar). and of course you remember when I tried ranch for the first time. and I had mayonnaise by accident at subway once in college because my order got mixed up with the person behind me somehow.) The point being, it was a fully stocked fridge.  Not something to complain about necessarily, but it was so full that I could barely find a place to sit in there to cool off (heh heh heh). Plus, unnecessary organization is my spiritual gift.  Hence where the dream began.

The dream was put on hold for a few years to spare those unfortunate people who lived with me from 2004 - 2009 from thinking I was completely nuts.

Now.  Here I am.  A place of my own.....plus Derek.  And it just so happens that Derek is in love with every condiment, sauce, spice, and "accessory" sort of foods (you know...olives or pickles), known to man.  I am officially living with my worst nightmare of a fridge.

Oh and did I mention that something falls out of the side door every.single.morning???  Because it does.  Usually it's the "secret stadium sauce" and sometimes it's soy sauce or worchestershire (something like that?) sauce that comes falling on my poor big toe at 5:20am when all I'm trying to do is get Lucas' bottles ready for the day.

Every.Day.

Don't you feel bad for me?  Don't you want to buy me a nice big fridge with sturdy shelves in the door?  Don't you want to tell Derek that he doesn't need that Sweet Baby Ray's or Secret Stadium Sauce? Don't you want to come take one of the SIX jars of jelly that we have in our fridge right now?

THX. :)

I am about to admit something to you all that is going to make your jaw hit the ground followed by leaning back in your chair with a good hearted chuckle.  I am about to do something I've never done before and am completely and utterly embarrassed that I am 24.5 year old and have never accomplished this task.

I am about to "brown hamburger."

That's right.

I've never done it.  In fact, I have another "I've never" that goes hand in hand with this.  I have never "handled" raw meat.  Ok, except for ONE time, I picked up a piece of chicken (with no direct skin to skin contact) and put it on the Biggest Loser grill.  But I overcooked it thus never ate it so I feel like it doesn't count.  And one time while I was on maternity leave Derek forced me to marinade a piece of salmon which I had to be text coached through.  I shuttered about 17 times that day thinking about it and I'm pretty sure Lucas suffered from neglect that day because I was so preoccupied with my gagging reflex. (reflux?)

I got the meat over lunch and left it in my car.  It's practically a fridge temp. isn't it?  I took a quick poll from my coworkers who insisted I go back out and put it in the fridge for the 4 hours left in the work day.  So I did......reluctantly.  Then I kept it in the "lactation room" fridge so I would be sure to remember it.....plus I was embarrassed to put "Ground Chuck" in the break room fridge.  Apparently breast milk and ground chuck are equally embarrassing and so it's worth the extra 8 flights of stairs to keep them in a mini fridge in the basement rather than the 3E kitchen.

It got me thinking there are probably a lot of things I better accomplish before I'm like 25. Like learn how to swim.  and eat soup.